


Pranks

by Willowflower_Waterlily



Series: Inquisitor Anna [5]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 07:51:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3969901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowflower_Waterlily/pseuds/Willowflower_Waterlily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A writing prompt from the Cullenites Facebook page: Pranks with Sera.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Sera, I have a problem and I need your help." Anna walks into Sera's room, and slips through the window and onto the roof. Sera sits next to her, and Anna hands her a cookie free of raisins.

"So what is it then? Someone need an arrow in the face or a kick in the arse?" 

"Something that doesn't involve killing, but will send a message. A prank, two of them." Anna nods in Cullen's direction. "That Orlesian wench has been all over Cullen since she's gotten here, and he's done nothing to push her away. She was one of the ones that pinched his bottom at the Winter Palace."

"Pinchie bottoms." Sera stares out at the red head trying to seduce the Commander. "We could give her pinchie bottoms."

"Earwigs!" Anna exclaims grinning. "In her smalls drawer." Sera cackles loudly, making everyone in the courtyard look up at the two of them, including Cullen. Anna and Sera put on their most innocent expressions, and giggle when a few people who know them look at them suspiciously.


	2. Chapter 2

Anna and Sera meet up in front of the Orlesian woman's room. "Have them?"

"Yeah, yeah, was simple." Sera shows her the jar of earwigs. They slip into the woman's room, and look through her dresser drawers. "We should puts some in all of the drawers."

"That way there isn't any drawer she can reach into safely." The two snicker softly as they dump the bugs into every drawer. They sneak out the window, hearing someone approaching the room.

 

Sitting on the roof just outside Sera's room, they eat cookies and wait. A scream pierces the everyday noises of Skyhold, and the red haired woman comes streaking out of the keep in nothing but her smalls and breast band, trying to pull earwigs off of her as she runs. The woman yelps each time she is stung, making it harder and harder for Anna and Sera to keep their expressions neutral. "Well, that was fun." Sera says, snickering.

"Very, why don't we play pranks more often?" Anna finishes her cookie, smiling as Cullen stares up at her and Sera. "Next step?"

"Ah, yes, Cully-Wully." 

"We need something that will cool him down." 

"Water balloons, real simple. We get the balloons and have a mage fill them up with ice water." Sera says, covering her mouth so Cullen can't read her lips. "Then we chuck them at him from the top of one of the towers. Easy, innit?" 

"Very." Anna agrees. "I'll ask Dorian to help us, I think he would be the one that would be most willing."

"Just make sure he keeps his trap shut, yeah? I don't want laterine duty, like last time." Sera scrunches her nose at the thought.

"He owes me, and if he does rat us out, we'll prank him too." Anna gazes over at Cullen to see that he's still looking at at them, and wonders if he knows what they're planning.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'll fill them up for you." Dorian nods, grinning at the two women. "But I have to be there when you do it, just to see the look on his face."

"Just don't rat us out." Anna frowns at her friend, knowing he would just for a laugh.

"You do and you'll get an arrow in the dangle-bag." Sera adds, trying to sound threatening. Dorian rolls his eyes at her.

"I'll just pull an arrow out of my arse for you to use." Dorian fills the balloons for them, while Sera cackles at his joke. When the last of them are filled, Anna and Sera divide them among themselves and slip into stealth to get into place. They wait for Dorian to call out to Cullen before unleashing their attack. "Hey Cullen." The blonde commander looks up at the Tevinter. The second he does, Anna and Sera start to fling the balloons at him. They stay to the shadows and run around the battlements so Cullen can't pin point exactly where they are, or how many are attacking him.

"What the Void?" Cullen roars, spinning around furiously to see where the attack is coming from. Dorian bursts out laughing, rolling on the floor, drawing Cullen's gaze while Anna and Sera escape back to Sera's room.

 

Cullen storms into the room not long after they got there, and glares at the two of them. "You look awfully wet, sweetie. Did it rain?"

"I'll make you..." Cullen starts, but stops, blushing, seeming to realize what he was about to say.

"Promise?" Anna purrs at him, making him blush more.

"Ew, go get a room already." Sera makes gagging noises. "Those aren't images I need in my head."

"I know it was the two of you, Dorian told me." Anna keeps her face neutral, but Sera groans.

"I knew we couldn't trust that pissbag." Sera flopped onto the window seat waiting for Cullen to give her latrine duty, again.

"Maybe it was. What are you going to do, Cullen, spank me?" Anna smirks at him, stepping into his personal space. Cullen's face turns bright red, and he stammers for a few minutes before turning tail to run away. "Meet me in the library tonight Sera. We owe Dorian a prank."


	4. Chapter 4

Anna and Sera slip into Solas's office late that night, stealing a can of red paint. Reaching Dorian's spot in the library, they blow up the fart bag, and paint it red to match Dorian's chair. Setting the can of paint aside, they start take books off the shelves and rearrange them so they're completely disorganized. "He's going to throw a fit about this." The two snicker quietly, as they proceed to find the trashiest romance novels and put them where Dorian would look for some of his private collection.

"It will be grand when we see his reaction." Sera and Anna grin at one another. Finally, they find Dorian's stash of wine and take the last of the bottles.

"What are you doing down there?" Leliana calls down softly.

"Revenge." Anna mouths up. Leliana motions for them to come up to her.

"This will be the best spot to see him without being seen." The Spymaster says, with a glint of mischief in her eyes.

 

Anna nudges Sera awake, and puts a finger up to her mouth. Sera nods in understanding, and they peek over the edge of the loft, watching Dorian look for a book, muttering to himself. He finally finds one, and plops himself down in his usual seat. A loud farting sound emanates from his chair, and the library goes eerily silent. Even the birds stop cawing. Everyone turns and stares at Dorian. Anna and Sera cover their mouths so no one will hear them howl with laughter. Tears are streaming down their cheeks when Dorian realizes that he not only sat on a fart bag, but it was covered in a thick amount of very wet red paint. "Fasta Vaas!" They hear him exclaim, as they roll in mirth at the success of their plan.

"So, is it everything you wanted?" Leliana asks softly, amusement in her voice. Both nod, quietly high-fiving each other.


	5. Chapter 5

Clinking their bottles of wine together, Anna and Sera celebrate their victories. Dorian sits down between them and Anna hands him a bottle of wine. "Hey, that was one of mine."

"And it is again." Anna grins at her friend.

"I'm not sure what I ever did to you." Dorian flashes Anna an exaggerated look of anguish. "Do you know how long it took me to get all of those books back in order? And that was my favorite outfit you got paint on."

"We're even." Anna rolls her eyes at Dorian. "You ratted us out..."

"You're lucky there's no arrows in you." Sera adds.

"Plus I owed you from when you had Cullen sitting in my room while I poured my heart out to you about my feelings for him."

"Fine, fine. We're even." Dorian says, before taking a drink of wine. "Look, there's that idiot that you got with the bugs."

"Pinchie butts..." Sera giggles. They watch the woman start to walk toward Cullen, stopping half way. She looks their way, freezing in place, her eyes widening in fear. The woman turns on her heels and hurries back to the keep.

 

Anna hears heavy steps coming up her stair, and smiles. Turning around, she sees Cullen standing just in her room. She gestures for him to accompany her on the balcony. Wrapping her arms around him, Anna nuzzles into his furry pauldrons. "I hope you aren't too upset about the prank."

"After what Dorian got, I should be happy I just got pelted with water balloons." Cullen chuckles, squeezing Anna close to him. "You had nothing to worry about with that Orlesian woman. No one will ever turn my head from you."

"I know." Anna kisses Cullen's cheek. "I just didn't like how she was forcing herself on you."

"Well, you and Sera made sure that she will never do that again." Cullen gently plants little kisses all over Anna's face. "Thank you, by the way."

"You're welcome, sweetie."


End file.
